You know you're in malawi when...

• You board a mini bus and find there is a coffin inside.
• You actually consider putting a message in a bottle after continued months of frustrations with internet and phone lines.
• The only time you are stopped by the police is to lend them a pen OR give him a ride into town
• The cockroaches are so big that you are woken up by his claws scratching on the polystyrene tray under your sink in the other room
• The stationary shop sign tells you “we sell paper, pens, folders, office supplies, and selected car parts”
• The local icecream shop hasn’t sold icecream in over a year - the fridge is broken. But they are still open.
• A gheko watches you while your on the toilet
• Your nightly routine is to check the house is rat proof, then your morning routine is to check he hasn’t been, and you have to create all sorts of creative problem solving ideas to kill the little bugger, because poisoning him just isn’t an option when the neighbours will eat him if they catch him.
• The kids are having a tea party with your rubbish when you come home from work
• The first two petrol stations you stop at wont have any petrol
  

.......... zita chitimba (it happens!)